Nana 5 August 2011

Nana,

I miss you already. I feel like a chapter of my life just closed, because you were the end of a legacy. You and Grandpa were part of my family history and my own childhood, integral to every memory and photo album, even though we shared no blood.
I remember being terrified of you as a kid, because your life revolved around hard work and chores, which were the antithesis to my view of enjoyment. But then, one summer something changed, and you changed in my eyes. Suddenly I learned that you loved to read, that you were hilarious, and that you liked pastrami. Then, you were personable and I was finally able to have conversations with you and to see you as the beautiful person you were.
Thank you for the lessons you taught me as a kid, to work hard and stick with it and learn as much as possible. And thank you for the memories, for the thousands of apricots and cherries from your trees, the endless hours in your sandy backyard, the hundreds of bowls of pintos and oatmeal (that you didn’t even like–ha ha!) Thank you for the music and for taking care of my family countless times. Thank you for being the only grandma I’ve really known.
I love you, Nana, and I’m glad that you are finished suffering. When you wake up, there will be no more work for you–only rest, and reading, and Grandpa, and laughing, and maybe some pastrami.

soom-buh. 22 July 2011

I tried my hand (er, hips) at Zumba today.The epiphanies hit in this order, over the course of the 45 minute class.

Realization #1: The fact that I speak Spanish does not at all correlate to my ability to move like a Spanish speaker.

Realization #2: Old ladies (WHITE old ladies) are capable of Latin dance.

Realization #3:

Trees 21 June 2011

My daddy says the trees sound like the ocean. People listen to shells tell them the song of waves and wind. But the tall trees are free to say what they will. In the morning, they whisper silently, but at night the wind is lonely and sings through them about the ocean: A lifetime without an ocean is a lifetime without music. The song is a hymn, a symphony, a love ballad. The sun bows away behind the stately orchestra, slipping behind the horizon quietly.

Morning tastes cold and unbearably sweet, and no person awake can ignore the holiness of sunrises. At the top of the hill, the evergreens stand up on their tiptoes, competing for the clouds. In the valley, Douglas firs and cedars march across the hills in green uniforms. Deer Park Road passes in a blur of cold concrete and gray-green shrubs until a cut in the forest shows the valley brimming with white fog as thick as cappuccino foam.

The fog swirls around the prickly evergreens like the tide, drawn by an unseen yearning to the moon. If I squint my eyes, the fog spreads out like a lake with miles of shoreline. The bank of forest is steep, and fingers of fog lap at the edges of the hill. Far across the valley, the sun sends search beams through the blanket to the evergreens. One by one, the trees heed the call, saluting the daylight and kissing the fog goodbye, for now.

In Washington, my daddy cut down my favorite fir tree in the back yard, the backdrop to thousands of jungle expeditions and Indian powwows, because it tried to lean tiredly against the house. He drove spikes deep into the crusty bark and climbed them like a ladder. All afternoon, the chainsaw yelled and the branches hit the ground with a soft moan. Daddy stacked the arms and legs of the fir tree to wait in a neat pile for their cremation come winter.

The next day, the man who lived on the corner and grew rhododendrons tapped on the kitchen door. He handed my mama a wooden salad bowl freshly carved and decorated with dark brown swirls and loops, the marks of years in a tree’s life. It smelled sweet and secret, full of spices and memories of many years of standing in our back yard, my fir tree.

SMs 18 November 2010

I just watched a video about Kristen Wolcott. Even though I didn’t choose to be a student missionary my sophomore year, I respect those who did and continue to do so. To be able to give a complete year of yourself and to march into the unknown is a beautiful thing. Kristen gave her very life for a cause much bigger than herself.

Some of my closest friends are serving this year. I pray for them and think of them so often, each in their own little pocket of the world, having new experiences and learning new ways to depend on God.

May God bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you…

Alone-liness 1 September 2010

How is it possible to be surrounded by so many great friends and family members and still be so utterly alone? I need to cry and I can’t think of anyone who could listen to me. Perhaps I’m ashamed to have problems, or afraid to ask for someone to listen? Whatever the case, I feel very alone.

Wealth 1 May 2010

My Bible fell open to Ecclesiastes 5:10: Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless.

Finances have become an issue, a conversation topic, a constant nagging concern lately. At this end of the year, we’re feeling tight. Time and money are both running out, and we’re frantic to experience and learn everything in the time left. Money is becoming my constant shadow, reminding me that there is  never enough, nunca suficiente.

My roommate opened her online banking account and started laughing. “My checking account is exactly the same number as my savings account.” The coincidence was funny until we realized the significance: we’re poor students. That number is going to go in the wrong direction pretty quickly.

But Solomon has a point: it’s all meaningless. The more we acknowledge money as significant, the more it controls us. The farther we let this constant nagging push us, the farther away we are from things that matter.

In his Nooma video “Rich,” Rob Bell brought up a good point: we are rich. A billion people in the world don’t have water. Only 8% of the world has a car. It doesn’t matter that my car needs a new paint job. I’m still rich.

Even though I take classes in the art of marketing and I know the tricks, I still fall for a good window display. Every day I’m told that to be happy, I need to have something else, something new. But it’s never going to be enough. When will I just figure that out and find some real to chase?

I have everything: I have amazing people in my life, I have amazing opportunities, I have air in my lungs. None of this came about because I earned enough money to buy it. These are all from God. Money isn’t going to solve any problems for ourselves. But we could use our money to solve problems for each other.

Here’s the catch from Rob Bell: Experts say that it would take around $20 billion to provide basic food, water, and care for the world. That’s how much every year that Americans spend on ice cream.

Ice cream! Not even nutrition for survival; ice cream, a dessert full of  temporary satisfaction in the form of pointless calories and sugar. We ARE the Joneses.

But it’s not even about the money. It’s about God. He gave us all these things for a reason. I think it’s about more than a check written for charity and then taken off our taxes. God gave us more: we have time, energy, love. We have more than enough; we are blessed.

February 24 March 2010

February blurred by and  left its mark on us.

I haven’t written since January because I don’t know what to write. At first, I had nothing to write. Then, I had nothing to say. I did a lot of thinking and praying in February. And now, back in the motions of school, I once again have nothing to write. That’s not to say that nothing is going on. There’s just too much to say; too much to think about.

I’ll do what I’m good at doing when I can’t think clearly: I’ll make a list.

Here are all the things that have happened that I have yet to write about:

1. February visit to Arizona and Josh’s dad’s funeral

2. Going home for two days in between the funeral and going back to Spain

3. Brussels and Brugges, Belgium trip

4. Exam week (don’t really want to talk about that! ha)

5. Spring break in Paris, Valencia, Barcelona, and Andorra

6. All the changes and experiences of third quarter beginning!

But for now, I will just leave it there. Life hits hard, sometimes. I’m still figuring things out, but I hope that God is one step ahead of me on that one.

My grandmother would have said, it’s better to laugh than cry, so laugh!

Amor 24 March 2010

We were talking about what women want (Mel Gibson movie) and came down to two things:

1. Chocolate

2. To be loved

There may be some intention in the particular order of these items, but we’ll leave that to speculation… But this leads to the next ponderance:

What does it mean to be loved?

Is it just to have someone say “I love you?” or must it be mutual? Must it be returned? Is being loved ever enough? Or is it everything?

I believe love, in its purest and most complete form, is God. And God is love. (check out 1 John 4.) So what does THAT tell me?

Square one: God=love=God.

That chapter goes all over the place explaining love and God and God and love and us. But how does that reflect in our own interpretations of human love?

January Friend 5 February 2010

January is not a lot to tell, but I’ll update because I haven’t done much of that lately…

Let’s see, January began in Vienna. I was still recovering from my food poisoning, so Travis and I had a pretty quiet New Year’s celebration with sparkling apple juice and the fireworks over the Danube. Then we headed to Salzburg for a very successful end of our European adventure. Salzburg was beautiful with fresh snow and Alps. We made snow angels in the Mirabell Gardens, where the Do-Re-Mi scene of Sound of Music was filmed. That movie has been something of a…well I don’t know what. It’s just always been in our lives. I’ve had every line memorized since before I can remember. So in a way, this trip to Salzburg was something of a childhood pilgrimage.

We finished the trip in Rome, with a stressful fly-by visit of the Vatican Museums until we thought our feet would fall off, at which point we ran into Emily (a fellow ACA Spain student) on a crosswalk across from the Vatican. We ended up on an endless trek in search of Burger King (french fries! please! no more pizza!) I dropped Travis off at the airport train at 5:45 am and went off to enjoy a photography walk of Rome while my poor brother endured yet another 2 day delay in between Rome and Atlanta! His bags made it home a few weeks later…

Back in Spain, January was mostly classes….and rebajas! Rebajas is a month-long SUPER sale in the entire country! Needless to say, I did a spot of shopping I got two of these jersey dresses that are so popular, and a jacket I had had my eye on…

Last weekend, Josh and I made our monthly visit to the Mediterranean. We decided in September that we would go every month just because it’s possible, since we live so close. Our January visit was a bit chilly, but the sun popped out for a couple of pictures. I also bought some essentials at the Asian store, such as nail polish remover and hair ties. The Asian stores are like dollar stores but with more random stuff and run entirely by Asians. Between the numerous kebab places and dollar (euro) stores, the world is being taken over by Turks and Asians.

Last week we finally visited La Ciudad de las Ciencias. That is a collection of modern museums that Valencia is famous for. The buildings are very modern architecture, and inside are an Imax, a science museum, an aquarium, and a music hall. We saw the Imax of “Wild Ocean” and wandered around the science museum…it brought back memories of going to the science center in Seattle when I was little.After the museum, I got my fill of reflection photographs of the museums and we even hit up McDonald’s for coffee (well, I did. Joshua just sat there making fun of my coffee-drinking tendencies.)

One other thing in January that’s notable: el club Cocina! This is the cooking club started by my dear Stephanie. Every week the group gets together to cook a prearranged item and, of course, eat it. The first week we made carrot cupcakes (amazing!) and one week was hummus and baklava (random combination.) I was on the baklava crew, and I have to say it turned out rather nicely! My chosen menu for cooking club is Sushi, which we’ll be making in March.

The other things we’re up to is planning all of our trips! The group is heading to Barcelona and Andorra next week. Then, the last week of February, Josh and I are going to an Owl City concert in Brussels! Then, Joey is coming to visit, and in March, my Daddy is coming so we can go to Paris, Geneva, Madrid, Valencia, and Barcelona! I’m so excited.

Well, that’s most of January news. For now, in February, I’m off to bed. Happy almost-weekend!

Paz 24 January 2010

I led the Sabbath School discussion today about peace. The more I studied about it and the more we discussed it, I realized that peace is a huge concept for me, maybe for humanity in general. We are constantly seeking peace in one form or another. I see it as a foundational concept. If I have true peace, I can build on it to improve my compassion, my confidence, my life of God’s love. The peace we talked about was the kind of inner serenity regardless of external factors. Jesus talks about it when he says “Come to me, all You who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest…” I think that’s the peace I’m looking for, a peace in surrender and security.