“Because choice. Our choices are killing us. We think choice means something.”
I already brought this article up in conversation before I had even finished reading it, truth by truth. We need to be careful of how we choose to define “settling”, “commitment” and also “more.”
I scare myself sometimes. It’s not a fear of commitment or even of intimacy that I have, I don’t think. Rather, it’s a fear of choosing. A fear of choosing my “rest of my life” and putting faces and names to fantasies and ideals. A fear of choosing a person and then having to let him in, then take the risk of losing him. A fear of making big decisions that will impact the life that I’m still building, still dreaming up.
If the original link doesn’t work, here is a manual one:
We don’t commit now. We don’t see the point. They’ve always said there are so many fish in the sea, but never before has that sea of fish been right at our fingertips on OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr, Dattch, take your pick. We can order up a human being in the same way we can order up pad thai on Seamless. We think intimacy lies in a perfectly-executed string of emoji. We think effort is a “good morning” text. We say romance is dead, because maybe it is, but maybe we just need to reinvent it. Maybe romance in our modern age is putting the phone down long enough to look in each other’s eyes at dinner. Maybe romance is deleting Tinder off your phone after an incredible first date with someone. Maybe romance is still there, we just don’t know what it looks like now.
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